Hands, · Like · Secrets, · Are · the · Hardest · Things · to · Keep · From · You

Past few days have been good; Brent and I have talked about a lot of different things, and I don't know if that's the reason, or at least the only one, but I'm happy. I love when he references the future, somehow. Like when I was talking about his snoring, he told me I better get used to it, or when I mentioned my fear of bugs, he said that would be a problem if/when we go camping. :) And then, the other night, we were discussing back burners- that is, people we have "set up" to replace each other if things went sour between us (he was joking that all his back burners were abandoning him) and he said that these people he'd mentioned would only happen if death or other unforeseen circumstances caused us to part, and then it would be a way to assuage grief, and be something he's regret for the rest of his life after that. He added, "Did you like that? 'Death or unforeseen circumstances'? I thought of 'til death do us part', but it seemed too cliche." I liked that he said that. A lot. :] Also, he's been very affectionate, which always makes me happier.

The other thing I wanted to post about was my dad. Tomorrow is his surgical procedure, to close the artery that his fourth brain tumor is wrapped around (I have no idea if I've brought any on this up before, guys. But he's had three brain tumors in the part, all taken out or killed in various ways and now this one is near his optic nerve and a big artery, so they have to close the artery to cut it out with the tumor, since they are twined together This procedure is the first part; the removal of the tumor comes later.) Anyway, it's dangerous, and I'm scared, and my dad is making jokes like he's going to die, and we need your prayers, if you're so inclined. I had a horrible thought tonight, while we were driving home from the SAK Comedy Club, and Brenton had laid his head in my lap in the back seat and gone to sleep; I was musing how happy I was, looking down at him, and I thought,"What if this is the last time I'm truly happy, that everything is right in my life, for a long time?" If something happens to my dad... I am trying not to think about it.

But I am really tired now, and I need to shower and sleep. I'll keep you posted on everything.

Love,
Cory

Current Mood:

worried