Hands, · Like · Secrets, · Are · the · Hardest · Things · to · Keep · From · You

It's been too long, el jay and associated friends. I miss you. Hope you are doing well. I am.

The rents are out of town for almost two weeks, visiting my favorite aunt up in Virgina just because they had points toward free plane tickets that were going to expire. Wish I could have gone with them, but it cost mulah and I have to work. Finally opened my availability and they gave me a few more hours- almost quadruple this week, actually. Mixed feelings about this, because I am très lazy, but I could use the money.

Been fixing my car for the past few days- she desperately needed a new suspension, and Brenton volunteered. So my garage looks like a toolchest exploded around my jacked-up car. It's frustrating work. I try to help, but sometimes I get in the way more than anything, and when he's stressed, Brent can be shirty about it. But otherwise, we're good. Better lately, if anything. After my horribly botched attempt to explain via letter that I would really like a little Romance and sweetness out of him- a difficult subject, because for one, I am a hopeless, hopeless Romantic and Brenton is pretty much the exact opposite, so I end up feeling starved for romance, and for another, because we have different views of caring for someone, or expressing it, I guess. For example, him fixing my car is a huge, wonderful gift to me, and I really appreciate it; but all the same, buying me flowers would probably mean more to me. This goes against logic, and I'm pretty sure Brenton doesn't see any sense in it. But hey, I can pay a mechanic to fix my car. I can't pay anyone to execute simple acts of romance that have no purpose other than to display affection for someone. Or maybe you can, I don't know. But it wouldn't mean anything unless it came from Brenton. Anyway, I digress. After the Letter Incident, similar to Chernobyl on a scale of Things That Went Well, he actually has been sweeter, and I feel really close to him again. It's amazing how tiny little things can fill me with such satisfaction, such complete happiness. A kiss on my hand. A sleepy-mumbled "I love you". A hand asking to hold mine, when I know he doesn't like holding hands very much. So I am a little torn between knocking my head against the wall repeatedly after the initial letter Incident Reaction, or being reluctantly glad I did it, because it kind of helped...

In other news, and totally out of left field, my father suggested and then set up a 4-day cruise for me ans Brenton. Alone. Talk about odd. It came about when my parents were talking about going on a cruise with an organization my dad belongs to, and I asked if I was invited. This cruise was his counter-offer. I think I can out of top of that one, you guys. So it goes to Nassau and Coco Cay in the Bahamas. In August, a few days after the Coldplay concert I am taking Brenton to for his 21st Birthday. Awesome. For the first time possibly ever, I can't wait for most of summer to be over. :)

That's all I have to say tonight, folks. Let me know how you're doing. <3